Thursday, February 25, 2010
Heard this song 准我爱你 by 陈晓东 recently. Kinda attracted to its lyrics, overall it sounds simple, but the meaning it brings out can be so strong and firm. Like a couple of the sentences inside, guess it brings out what I wanna express ba..
Haven’t been writing much recently. Stopped since some time back.. 那个叫灵感的小子 ran off and never came back. And for one, I didn’t bother to go look for him too.. bogged down by too much stuff la. Work and skool etc.
Started the year with confidence and trust.. not that I’ve lost them along the way, but its difficult to maintain that level with all the things happening. And as time draws nearer, its natural that the mind will kinda wander off. Somewhere I read, ‘When all that you left is God, you find that God is all you need’.. I must say I really doubt my own ability to be able to live out that sentence.
Oh well, was in some emotional turbulence state these days. Den happened to attend this EQ training course today. Took some time to speak to the speaker.. free consultation ar haha. But like never really address the issue la..
Arh well, share the song below…
陈晓东 - 准我爱你
曲：陈晓东 词：林夕 编：Eric Kwok
不用一首歌的时间我就爱上你
音乐没停止 思念就开始
如果爱情是个游戏
我愿输给你想不到 等待是个孤独的玩意
我爱你 我爱你不过是 三个字
简单地 认真地吓坏了 我自己
没问你 就爱你
我不是 最好的
对不起 请你准我高攀了你
看着你 我竟然看不起自己
遇见你 竟没有离开的权利
有了你 之前的爱只是练习
为了准备更好对你
两个人抱在一起
究竟需要多少力气
上帝都不明白我哪里来的勇气
Monday, February 22, 2010
不知道这是不是所谓的 - 挫败感。
我真的很累、很累..
一直以来都不曾象现在这么认真的思考与面对这种感觉。
可能这次我真的觉得够了.. 累了… 快透不过气了。
我敢说我现在绝对不是一时气话，也不是意气用事才怎么说的。
不喜欢这份工作不是一天两天的事情，跟我比较熟的朋友对我的报怨大概都已习以为常了。
不过说实话，我这个人就是不够狠。
每次不管什么，决定了、开了头，就一定坚持要完成..
就算真的会很辛苦，很艰难，很不快乐。
从学业，到实习工作，到真正出社会工作.. 一直都那么坚持。
可能是对自己的一种要求和承诺吧，
也或许可能只是懦弱的不敢逆流而行而已。
总是觉得自己是叛逆的一份子，敢抵抗世界..
慢慢发现，其实自己也顶多算是宁死不屈而已。
因为一直以来，都只是随波逐流却还倔强的想要改变什么。
说起来好愚蠢、好可笑…
今年我告诉自己要学习’放弃’这门学问,
或许现在是最好的练习机会吧。
原来独自面对这世界真的很累、很笨。
不想再孤身与世界对抗了，应该要放弃了。
真的不能改变什么..
真的没力气再去改变什么了..
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
well, just felt the dread this very moment. Because in less den 8 hrs i'll be sitting in the office trying to clear piles of work once again. Holidays just never seems enough. New year break was more relaxing this year as compared to previous years, basically coz some went overseas to work or hols, others kinda lost contact, or otherwise, passed away. hmm.. glad to meet up with the rest i've met actually. New year day always begin after lunch, coz i'll always wake up late haha~!
Got to meet my little baby niece finally! she's so bubbly.. just 5 months and can see that she'll grow up to be a smart little one. she actually respond to people and surroundings.. and she tries to tok in her own weird sounds hahaa. guess only her mum understands! Well, somehow this year's visiting feels more like normal lunch/dinner gathering den new year visitings. there's a difference somehow.. i just can't explain. Oh ya, tonnes of ppl asking me when i'm getting married, when i'm having kids.. like hello~ i dun even have the other half! be very stunt when i tell u i'm gonna have kids now man.
Spoke to a few of my relatives, got quite some good advice for my future, and some encouragements too. arh.. saw my aiai's blog got nice encouraging words too! he said 因為更加困難，所以更要證明。well spoken. 有很多事情，不是渺小的自己可以控制與掌握的~ 但是至少，我可以決定，怎麼看待自己的今天。i hold the key to my own future, i have to decide which direction to move on.. the tougher it gets, the more we have to prove our existence. i am really trying to put into practice this sentence man~ training my guts day by day, all for that one day and one action.. one that can really change my life's direction. i pray that god will lead my tots and action, and be with me as i take that step.. if its his will, i believe he will bless....
Well, this year i tink i really change abit.. Sometimes i do things that will stunt myself. i tink i was never like that ever before. Hmm not sure if its a good change though really haha~ this madness and spur of the moment action can be quite a disaster if not controlled well haha! Aiyah, shall not go into details.. gotto sleep le.. work is coming! super duper sianz...
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Anyway, the double festive season never really increase my mood, in fact i felt desensitised by all these actions going on. guess this year festive period is right smack in the middle of work troubles and skool ba. and maybe festive period really abit more easy to get emo haha~ my mood like roller coaster like that.
Well, i am consistently resisting urge to do stuff recently. it sometimes require more courage and determination to resist den to just go ahead with decisions. Guess it just takes more to convince yourself i guess. oh well, this is a brand new year.. many changes i've seen in myself till this point in time.. more good ones ahead i hope.
ok.. just had a very very full reunion dinner.
Lastly everyone.. 腥黏跨熱~!! hahaaa..