Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Some stuff happened just moments ago. Never realised little things can hurt me so much~ an intentional statement or a simple action, they can just make my heart shatter. Why must you tell me wat happened? isn't it better not to let me know? i rather be ignorant of wat happened..
for a moment i wanted to find someone to tok to.. a fren close enuff to hear me out and one who understands. Maybe just be by my side to let me know i'm not alone. i looked at my msn list.. so many online, none i can approach. There's really nothing i can do. somehow tears have no meaning to me at this moment. i wan to be strong.. but i'm just human..
its funny how words can be so cold. you can have extreme emotions while typing this stupid thing, but it'll still appear so stark and cold. Tink there's still many things that i have to accept.. crap~!!
for a moment i wanted to find someone to tok to.. a fren close enuff to hear me out and one who understands. Maybe just be by my side to let me know i'm not alone. i looked at my msn list.. so many online, none i can approach. There's really nothing i can do. somehow tears have no meaning to me at this moment. i wan to be strong.. but i'm just human..
its funny how words can be so cold. you can have extreme emotions while typing this stupid thing, but it'll still appear so stark and cold. Tink there's still many things that i have to accept.. crap~!!
arh well.. finally over and done with skool's stuff for yr 2 of study le!! well, coz i already went to skool today to hand in the last assignment of the semester.. my MCT logbook. was working on it last night till like 4 plus in the morning. though i do not have much confidence in scoring well for it.. but still, the feeling of the final burden gone is cool! seriously speaking.. now dat all is over, there's a sudden surge of emptiness..
Its weird living everyday without knowing wat to do next exactly. its so not me loh.. i dun like the feeling of not knowing wats gonna happen next. the suspended feeling is gross..
Oh well, i guess i'll try to replace the emptiness with some constructive stuff ba. like say.. packing my bag for the vietnam trip! haha.. its really a major project..trust me. dislike packing.. but i haven't reach packing stage yet. Dis few days i'm in the stage of preparing for packing..haha. Been trying to get hold of those stuff that i do not have, and they're wat i'll need for the trip. got the backpack from chin, a sling bag from gina, gonna get sandals from huimei..etc.. there's still like thousand and one things to prepare. Received an email from the teacher again regarding the trip. He is holding a meeting for all of us to discuss bout the food, stuff to bring, money, hotels... And seriously, he sounds excited for the trip..haha...
Its weird living everyday without knowing wat to do next exactly. its so not me loh.. i dun like the feeling of not knowing wats gonna happen next. the suspended feeling is gross..
Oh well, i guess i'll try to replace the emptiness with some constructive stuff ba. like say.. packing my bag for the vietnam trip! haha.. its really a major project..trust me. dislike packing.. but i haven't reach packing stage yet. Dis few days i'm in the stage of preparing for packing..haha. Been trying to get hold of those stuff that i do not have, and they're wat i'll need for the trip. got the backpack from chin, a sling bag from gina, gonna get sandals from huimei..etc.. there's still like thousand and one things to prepare. Received an email from the teacher again regarding the trip. He is holding a meeting for all of us to discuss bout the food, stuff to bring, money, hotels... And seriously, he sounds excited for the trip..haha...
Friday, February 24, 2006
Everything went wrong today. Felt as if i shouldn't have live dis day at all. Maybe its lack of sleep, barely had 3 hrs before i woke up.
Started the day at the polyclinic. had to go get anti-malaria tablets. Though the doctor is quite handsome, it was like a wasted trip. coz they dun provide the tablets there.. all they give is a prescription. Aniway, i went back to my family doctor there to get the pills la.
Hmm, feel so disoriented now. will be super irritated when one thing goes wrong.. not to mention times like dat where Nothing seemed right! being a high S and high C person.. sudden changes can cause great trauma. It happened. Today. I'm feeling like crap now..
Started the day at the polyclinic. had to go get anti-malaria tablets. Though the doctor is quite handsome, it was like a wasted trip. coz they dun provide the tablets there.. all they give is a prescription. Aniway, i went back to my family doctor there to get the pills la.
Hmm, feel so disoriented now. will be super irritated when one thing goes wrong.. not to mention times like dat where Nothing seemed right! being a high S and high C person.. sudden changes can cause great trauma. It happened. Today. I'm feeling like crap now..
Exams are over! End of Year 2! oh my.. one academic year seems to fly pass.. izzit just becoz the term is short, or izzit the semester is so packed that you don't even realise that time have slipped by? Aniway.. looking forward to the last year of study though.. finally we'll get to do something more like wat vet science ppl are suppose to be doing la. Oh wat the.. exams are just over, shouldn't be toking bout skool now..
ok change topic. today was out the whole day.. shopping. okok window shopping. was forced to spend money.. haha. watched the movie 'rumour has it'.. was somehow compelled to watch la. i'm not those that will willing pay to watch a love or comedy movie. but yah, i understand that when you go out in a group.. compromising is necessary. to compromise comes sacrifices.. haiz.. Oh aniway, i was searching for a new watch today. found one that looks quite cool. its nice.. but abit big and ex though. went online to find the model of the watch just now, and guess wat.. i can't even find it on their website la. argh.. wonder if they actually update it regularly, or maybe the watch is too new and stuff.. (-.-"
Today wasn't exactly an exciting day i could say. Half the time i was deep in tots.. Was tinking am i reading too much into ppl's sentence or sumthg. maybe they just literally meant it, and somehow i just had to be so boliao as to read in between the lines. I don't know.. really.. i feel so confused sometimes. i tink i like to worry over the slightest thing.. but i'm born like that~! its so natural. even the simplest thing can be made complicated, and i'll start worrying the next moment. maybe i shouldn't tink too much.. just try to be dumb and live happily ever after. izzit possible? The last thing i ever wan is to be living behind a mask. its so sad that you can't even be urself even with your frens.. Hmm, maybe thats why i love snowy so much. She won't mind who i am, but love me just as much..
ok change topic. today was out the whole day.. shopping. okok window shopping. was forced to spend money.. haha. watched the movie 'rumour has it'.. was somehow compelled to watch la. i'm not those that will willing pay to watch a love or comedy movie. but yah, i understand that when you go out in a group.. compromising is necessary. to compromise comes sacrifices.. haiz.. Oh aniway, i was searching for a new watch today. found one that looks quite cool. its nice.. but abit big and ex though. went online to find the model of the watch just now, and guess wat.. i can't even find it on their website la. argh.. wonder if they actually update it regularly, or maybe the watch is too new and stuff.. (-.-"
Today wasn't exactly an exciting day i could say. Half the time i was deep in tots.. Was tinking am i reading too much into ppl's sentence or sumthg. maybe they just literally meant it, and somehow i just had to be so boliao as to read in between the lines. I don't know.. really.. i feel so confused sometimes. i tink i like to worry over the slightest thing.. but i'm born like that~! its so natural. even the simplest thing can be made complicated, and i'll start worrying the next moment. maybe i shouldn't tink too much.. just try to be dumb and live happily ever after. izzit possible? The last thing i ever wan is to be living behind a mask. its so sad that you can't even be urself even with your frens.. Hmm, maybe thats why i love snowy so much. She won't mind who i am, but love me just as much..
Monday, February 20, 2006
Its over its over~!! i can smell the fresh air.. air of freedom.. haha!! Well, i can foresee that i'll be quite dead for the paper today la. 3 hr paper.. was like stoning inside for almost 2 hrs. half the time i was writing stuff that even i can't exactly make sense of. aniway, realise after the paper that actually my answers are correct, just that most of the time i'll last minute go 'act clever' add in some stupid medical names..(-.-" stupid habit that can't be changed. this habit of adding in extra stuff at will had already killed me countless times! i just dun seemed to be able to learn from mistakes.
oh well.. one thing to add. i hate the feeling of being cheated.. by someone so called a fren. its super hurting and saddening. haven't exactly approach the person yet.. and i doubt i will ever do so. i won't wanna get a really fake response or something.. might as well treat it as a lesson learnt. maybe i should start to review the criteria i've set for being call my "fren"..
Aniway..i'm getting excited bout going overseas le~! haha.. have been waiting for holidays to come even before the study week begins. haven't been on a plane for ages.. after being trapped in singapore for so long..finally i could go out to see the world! haaa.. Hm, i have been having troubles controlling my mind dis two days. it keeps wandering off.. can't get focused on studying. before i even know it.. i'll be imagining stuff.. haha! oh yeah, watever la.. feeling so relaxed now.. totally free from the burden of haematology!! shall go indulge in dis moment of plaesure.. lalala..
oh well.. one thing to add. i hate the feeling of being cheated.. by someone so called a fren. its super hurting and saddening. haven't exactly approach the person yet.. and i doubt i will ever do so. i won't wanna get a really fake response or something.. might as well treat it as a lesson learnt. maybe i should start to review the criteria i've set for being call my "fren"..
Aniway..i'm getting excited bout going overseas le~! haha.. have been waiting for holidays to come even before the study week begins. haven't been on a plane for ages.. after being trapped in singapore for so long..finally i could go out to see the world! haaa.. Hm, i have been having troubles controlling my mind dis two days. it keeps wandering off.. can't get focused on studying. before i even know it.. i'll be imagining stuff.. haha! oh yeah, watever la.. feeling so relaxed now.. totally free from the burden of haematology!! shall go indulge in dis moment of plaesure.. lalala..
Friday, February 17, 2006
A classmate went overseas today.. it seems like going overseas is such a popular thing. how come everyone is leaving for studies overseas? wats wrong with the education in singapore..? i've always tot dat i could happily study all the way up to university.. but somehow there seems to be dis missing link somewhere. its either singapore's education is too stringent in choosing out those talented ones.. or maybe i'm just not suited to this kinda stressful conditions.
Aniway after stoning for ages.. i've finally went to exercise! went swimming just now.. it was raining quite abit today, expected the water to be cold..but it was surprisingly warm! took my time to swim all i like.. well, it was crowded at the pool, and the water does have excess salt in it. swimming is good. feels so relaxing in the water..feels as if world can just float away.. no exams, no books, no haematology! oh yah crap.. have around 2 days more to study for haem.. its a really hopeless feeling i can't exactly describe.
Aniway after stoning for ages.. i've finally went to exercise! went swimming just now.. it was raining quite abit today, expected the water to be cold..but it was surprisingly warm! took my time to swim all i like.. well, it was crowded at the pool, and the water does have excess salt in it. swimming is good. feels so relaxing in the water..feels as if world can just float away.. no exams, no books, no haematology! oh yah crap.. have around 2 days more to study for haem.. its a really hopeless feeling i can't exactly describe.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
oh my.. its study week, aka term test week. got many revision lectures packed together with term tests.. the feeling is so sick. aniway, have three papers take this week.. so far done two le, and i am seriously worried bout my results..haha. oh yah, the other day i was toking bout the heam lab test that i was to take.. gotten back the results le, fail. hmm, just as i said, i can't see the differences between those random blood cells~! Haiz, dis few days get back papers all very depressing one. Wonder how far lower will my GPA drop dis time round..
Thursday, February 09, 2006
its coming to the end of the last official week of skool. dun feel happy at all though.. coz this marks the beginning of the study week (-.-".. oh well, i'm just tinking how i am suppose to study for three test by next tues. well seriously everyone in skool is mentally worn out.. its super obvious la. can't exactly cope with all this work piling up. Oh yah, there this model student in my course..lecturers all liked him very much, coz he's basically smart like crap. but i found out one thing.. the fact is that he actually resents them. rather ironical isn't it..
hmm, was slacking abit just now. went to surf all those idols websites that i haven't been visiting for ages. the feeling is good.. you get to see the updates of all the ppl you like.. Well, i seriously admire some of the fans la. no matter how busy they are.. they are still willing to spend the time on the one they like. There's dis girl that said.. its not easy being a fan. it requires time and effort.. and most importantly.. love and passion. Seriously, it sounds so much like the way christians should be.. but to speak the truth, be it being a christian or being a fan.. i've never been up to standard. sometimes i'll ask myself, wat is it that i wan at the present moment.. many of the times i couldn't ans the qns..
hmm, was slacking abit just now. went to surf all those idols websites that i haven't been visiting for ages. the feeling is good.. you get to see the updates of all the ppl you like.. Well, i seriously admire some of the fans la. no matter how busy they are.. they are still willing to spend the time on the one they like. There's dis girl that said.. its not easy being a fan. it requires time and effort.. and most importantly.. love and passion. Seriously, it sounds so much like the way christians should be.. but to speak the truth, be it being a christian or being a fan.. i've never been up to standard. sometimes i'll ask myself, wat is it that i wan at the present moment.. many of the times i couldn't ans the qns..
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
argh~! for once i really hate drawing the stupid blood cells. sicko! must they have such a wide variety?! this is like crazy la.. got to remember 22 slides for tomolo's lab test, and all the slides is like random patterns of the different cell types. even the teacher say it'll require years of experienced to identify the cells present la.. and wat make him tink we'll be able to do it only after studying dis subject for like a few months?!!
Aniway.. i just realised a very good way to learn cantonese. listen to more cantonese songs.. serious, it helps alot. their pronounciation is super accurate la.. Aniway, my legs are aching quite badly now. maybe coz it rained in the afternoon and stuff. hmm.. better go look at the cells le lar.. *i hate blood*
Aniway.. i just realised a very good way to learn cantonese. listen to more cantonese songs.. serious, it helps alot. their pronounciation is super accurate la.. Aniway, my legs are aching quite badly now. maybe coz it rained in the afternoon and stuff. hmm.. better go look at the cells le lar.. *i hate blood*
Sunday, February 05, 2006
wow finally complete my two reports!! yeah..happy! have been at it the whole day loh.. super sian la. den the next moment, loads of request to ask me to send them wat i've done! its like.. i duno how to reject, but i totally dun wan send them la. coz for sure by this time they will sure cut and paste one loh.. i won't wan to waste my whole days' effort like dat..
Aniway, watch finish a new tvb show recently. the english title is Always Ready. Woah its super cool! bout the hong kong government flying service one. the casting is good.. and story is excellent! love those uniform groups show..haha! and really, man in uniform are really good looking! oh my i'm mad~ but the show is still constantly on my mind.. huanting my every tots..haa! hmm for a moment i realise i really like those uniformed jobs. but well, physically i won't be able to make it la. how sad.. can only watch shows to satisfy myself..heehee.. aiyah i go listen mp3 destress le.. =)
Aniway, watch finish a new tvb show recently. the english title is Always Ready. Woah its super cool! bout the hong kong government flying service one. the casting is good.. and story is excellent! love those uniform groups show..haha! and really, man in uniform are really good looking! oh my i'm mad~ but the show is still constantly on my mind.. huanting my every tots..haa! hmm for a moment i realise i really like those uniformed jobs. but well, physically i won't be able to make it la. how sad.. can only watch shows to satisfy myself..heehee.. aiyah i go listen mp3 destress le.. =)
Friday, February 03, 2006
Wow things aren't under control animore.. this is like the busiest Chinese New Year i've ever had. well, there wasn't much new year mood at all. Everything seemed so commercialize. clear all my relatives places within the first day of new year. the 2nd and 3rd day was at home waiting to be invaded. people just kept coming.. somehow i wonder if we really had so many relatives and family frens. hmm, but there's some relatives that i haven't met for like years le.. we also like never intend to keep in contact or stuff like that. Haiz, wat is the world coming to man.. no wonder new year holidays is getting shorter and shorter la.
oh well, 1st of feb was back in skool le. oh yah, my dear barbarian duckie tan's birthday is on 1st feb.. yeah, happy birthday duckie~! haha.. Aniway back to the topic..since the day back at skool, everything was like moving at fast forward speed. everyday also got deadline to meet, assignments to complete, reports to submit, and test to sit for.. finally i've survived this few terrifying days. weekend is here! can slack abit la.. but within this weekend, i've got to complete research, prepare stuff for presentation, study for lab test, and complete my report to submit on monday. woah, is there still time for slacking? aiyah couldn't be bothered to tink bout it now la.. can't wait for 22nd of feb~ the last day of exam! but seems like i've logbook to submit even after exam wor.. haiz~ life...
oh well, 1st of feb was back in skool le. oh yah, my dear barbarian duckie tan's birthday is on 1st feb.. yeah, happy birthday duckie~! haha.. Aniway back to the topic..since the day back at skool, everything was like moving at fast forward speed. everyday also got deadline to meet, assignments to complete, reports to submit, and test to sit for.. finally i've survived this few terrifying days. weekend is here! can slack abit la.. but within this weekend, i've got to complete research, prepare stuff for presentation, study for lab test, and complete my report to submit on monday. woah, is there still time for slacking? aiyah couldn't be bothered to tink bout it now la.. can't wait for 22nd of feb~ the last day of exam! but seems like i've logbook to submit even after exam wor.. haiz~ life...