Friday, January 29, 2010
Ok skool started till now, everything still so good. Not yet feel the stresses of assignments coz literally I haven’t been paying attention to it. It’s not good really, coz I find that I have no interest in this module.. naturally I dun feel like working on it la. Hmm, thing have been going smooth and good since the beginning of this year. Till this week I guess.
Earlier this week I just felt the pressure on myself. Getting abit tired mentally. Not too sure what causes it, perhaps I have been trying too hard all the while. I just felt negative for the first time this year.. the feeling of being out of action, being left behind. Felt like I just couldn’t keep pace with the world around me.. like dancing at a different beat kind.
Well, these days at work was more challenging! Ok in a bad way.. Yet again! The irritating salesperson just keeps trying to test my limits. He just doesn’t understand the fact that keeping quiet doesn’t mean that I agree with him or what he is doing.. trying to shoot me anytime anywhere~ I did rebut a couple of times, in the nicest way I could muster.. but dun push it anymore. I duno how nasty I can get.. really.
Trying to live my life to the best it can get now actually. I’ve met ppl who are really straight forward and true, and they’ve taught me the lessons of trust and sincerity. Not everyone is entirely bad, neither anyone is entirely good.. must really learn to accept a person as they are. Ok, only for people whom are worth our time and effort. Some can go and rot for all I care.. and yes, I meant the guy in my dept..
Earlier this week I just felt the pressure on myself. Getting abit tired mentally. Not too sure what causes it, perhaps I have been trying too hard all the while. I just felt negative for the first time this year.. the feeling of being out of action, being left behind. Felt like I just couldn’t keep pace with the world around me.. like dancing at a different beat kind.
Well, these days at work was more challenging! Ok in a bad way.. Yet again! The irritating salesperson just keeps trying to test my limits. He just doesn’t understand the fact that keeping quiet doesn’t mean that I agree with him or what he is doing.. trying to shoot me anytime anywhere~ I did rebut a couple of times, in the nicest way I could muster.. but dun push it anymore. I duno how nasty I can get.. really.
Trying to live my life to the best it can get now actually. I’ve met ppl who are really straight forward and true, and they’ve taught me the lessons of trust and sincerity. Not everyone is entirely bad, neither anyone is entirely good.. must really learn to accept a person as they are. Ok, only for people whom are worth our time and effort. Some can go and rot for all I care.. and yes, I meant the guy in my dept..
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Fell sick for no apparant reason. nice.. very nice. Two days of medication and still not exactly well. Seriously, going to work is such a chore.. especially when i am sick and in such a cranky mood. The office is like a freezing hell. i choose not to tok this two days.. Partly coz my throat hurts, but more like, i feel like i'm losing the bond with the people there. Everything feels so distant and so cold to me.
Well, meet with some not very pleasant stuff recently. It feels like i'm trying very hard to get things done and organised, but there'll be obstacles to impede the progress. I duno why people do things must be for the credits and benefits it brings~ ok i admit i am the same at times. we do things so that people see and commend us on it, so that people give us the due credits and appraisals. But is that the only reason to get things done? so if what you do doesn't get notice, you stop doing it? hm.. i was complaining the other day when my mum just simply said, 'you just do la, God sees it'.. okay...
well, trying to be very focus recently. started skool le, but for now still quite slack.. coz the later half of the sem is out-to-kill! that's why i say must stay super focus now on.. not only on skool, but for everything left hanging, all the loose ends.. i am so scared once i lose focus, my tots go wild, and i'll start worrying and messing things up.
hmm, have to start coming to terms with the things tats beyond my control. or rather have started coming terms with them. letting go one step at a time. but at times i just have crazy tots that there'll be a miracle somewhere.. i still believe, i really do. let me meet my miracle one day...
Well, meet with some not very pleasant stuff recently. It feels like i'm trying very hard to get things done and organised, but there'll be obstacles to impede the progress. I duno why people do things must be for the credits and benefits it brings~ ok i admit i am the same at times. we do things so that people see and commend us on it, so that people give us the due credits and appraisals. But is that the only reason to get things done? so if what you do doesn't get notice, you stop doing it? hm.. i was complaining the other day when my mum just simply said, 'you just do la, God sees it'.. okay...
well, trying to be very focus recently. started skool le, but for now still quite slack.. coz the later half of the sem is out-to-kill! that's why i say must stay super focus now on.. not only on skool, but for everything left hanging, all the loose ends.. i am so scared once i lose focus, my tots go wild, and i'll start worrying and messing things up.
hmm, have to start coming to terms with the things tats beyond my control. or rather have started coming terms with them. letting go one step at a time. but at times i just have crazy tots that there'll be a miracle somewhere.. i still believe, i really do. let me meet my miracle one day...
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Tau huay at around midnight is kinda crazy.. haha, but once in awhile such madness is quite style sia! Tink 2010 till now is full of unexpected stuff.. and i get quite stunt by the change in myself also sometimes.
Well, today is the day..6th Jan 2010.. after many many many years.. i finally got a lappie!! its a netbook, small but.. aiyah can use can le la. I have decided to name it Mini! tink ppl might be stunt by it somehow ba haha. I am so happy i finally made up my mind to buy it! there was a few moments that some tots somewhere told me to get out of the shop and go home. As usual la, i know if i walk out i'll be home empty handed again. so.. yeah~got my mini home! wooohooo~! eh but still trying to figure out how to use it la.. not very pro with such stuff ma..haa
And anyway.. tonight's sudden meetup at the tau huay shop spoilt my plan of a healthier lifestyle. been trying to go to bed around midnight for a few days le. Erm, but the thing i wanna say is.. after today, i realise.. I am still very much a night person la! i just like to stay up late! but oh well, i am gonna force myself to bed soon..
Ah one last thing.. Sarah confirm joining for the mission trip lo! hope dun play play one la.. den dear yu and gina joining After the mission trip to join us for travelling wor, ow nice haha. lets see if this comes true ya.. hahaa... ok koonz...
Well, today is the day..6th Jan 2010.. after many many many years.. i finally got a lappie!! its a netbook, small but.. aiyah can use can le la. I have decided to name it Mini! tink ppl might be stunt by it somehow ba haha. I am so happy i finally made up my mind to buy it! there was a few moments that some tots somewhere told me to get out of the shop and go home. As usual la, i know if i walk out i'll be home empty handed again. so.. yeah~got my mini home! wooohooo~! eh but still trying to figure out how to use it la.. not very pro with such stuff ma..haa
And anyway.. tonight's sudden meetup at the tau huay shop spoilt my plan of a healthier lifestyle. been trying to go to bed around midnight for a few days le. Erm, but the thing i wanna say is.. after today, i realise.. I am still very much a night person la! i just like to stay up late! but oh well, i am gonna force myself to bed soon..
Ah one last thing.. Sarah confirm joining for the mission trip lo! hope dun play play one la.. den dear yu and gina joining After the mission trip to join us for travelling wor, ow nice haha. lets see if this comes true ya.. hahaa... ok koonz...
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
My mind now is filled with loads of stuff.. feels super compacted now. Duno how much rubbish its holding on inside exactly. School hasn’t really started yet and I can feel my mind abit overworked already recently. Too much brain activity is causing discomforts. Brain activity during sleep is giving me dreams every night.. tink its good stuff my brain is processing, cause at least I dun get nightmares haha! But seriously speaking.. I need quality sleep leh~ even at night I can’t get my mind to rest, no wonder every morning I wake up with horrible headaches. Yes having such a bad headache now.. so much I am not intending to work but blog instead haha!
Well, as work piles up and loads get heavier in the office.. you can see more unhappy faces around, and on and off there’ll be complains and all. I just dun understand, they keep employing new staff with higher pay, yet those ppl come in do nothing. Great~ for all I care they can go ahead and slack.. coz sooner or later they can take over what I am doing. I am still trying to buffer myself to adapt to all these crap, or call it endurance training.. got to keep pushing my limits now before I lose control.
Oh ya, will be starting my first lesson of the semester soon. Gonna get back familiar lecturers la.. and finally this time I am well prepared for skool shock syndrome. This will be the last time I am facing these also le I hope.. wanna grad after this de lo! Well, not sure how heavy the workload will be.. but can be sure it won’t be easy in any way la.
Oh ya lastly, more or less fixed the mission trip in May le.. Yeah~! Guess this is something I have been longing for since… I duno when. It have always been in my mind la.. just that nothg really pushed me to get it realized. Quite glad chin very actively facilitated the coordination of this trip. Not sure what is expected of us yet, even the programs aren’t fixed also, plus timing abit off.. but nonetheless, I am super excited! I still can’t decide how long i wanna stay in Taiwan eh.. I mean my own leisure trip after the mission la hahaa! Counting down~ around 135 days more! Weee……
Well, as work piles up and loads get heavier in the office.. you can see more unhappy faces around, and on and off there’ll be complains and all. I just dun understand, they keep employing new staff with higher pay, yet those ppl come in do nothing. Great~ for all I care they can go ahead and slack.. coz sooner or later they can take over what I am doing. I am still trying to buffer myself to adapt to all these crap, or call it endurance training.. got to keep pushing my limits now before I lose control.
Oh ya, will be starting my first lesson of the semester soon. Gonna get back familiar lecturers la.. and finally this time I am well prepared for skool shock syndrome. This will be the last time I am facing these also le I hope.. wanna grad after this de lo! Well, not sure how heavy the workload will be.. but can be sure it won’t be easy in any way la.
Oh ya lastly, more or less fixed the mission trip in May le.. Yeah~! Guess this is something I have been longing for since… I duno when. It have always been in my mind la.. just that nothg really pushed me to get it realized. Quite glad chin very actively facilitated the coordination of this trip. Not sure what is expected of us yet, even the programs aren’t fixed also, plus timing abit off.. but nonetheless, I am super excited! I still can’t decide how long i wanna stay in Taiwan eh.. I mean my own leisure trip after the mission la hahaa! Counting down~ around 135 days more! Weee……
Sunday, January 03, 2010
忽然发现，很多时候我们做事都以自己的角度出发。
觉得自己做的是对的就一厢情愿的执行，都没有考虑过是否会为他人造成影响之类的..
原来单纯的关心朋友、交朋友的动作也可能变成是一种负担和干涉对方生活的举动。
我知道当别人的关心变成一种无形的压力时，
那种无可奈何的感觉有多难受~ 因为就曾经亲身经历过。
虽然说是不同情况啦，
可是这也让我惊觉~ 真的要认真体会、体谅别人的感受..
事情不是一味以自己的想法进行就会有完美的成果的。
同时也应该认清，有些事不管多努力，可能一辈子也不会有想要的结局的~
觉得自己做的是对的就一厢情愿的执行，都没有考虑过是否会为他人造成影响之类的..
原来单纯的关心朋友、交朋友的动作也可能变成是一种负担和干涉对方生活的举动。
我知道当别人的关心变成一种无形的压力时，
那种无可奈何的感觉有多难受~ 因为就曾经亲身经历过。
虽然说是不同情况啦，
可是这也让我惊觉~ 真的要认真体会、体谅别人的感受..
事情不是一味以自己的想法进行就会有完美的成果的。
同时也应该认清，有些事不管多努力，可能一辈子也不会有想要的结局的~
Saturday, January 02, 2010
I am loving blogging <----------this----------> much (ok much much more that that..) that i was tinking of blogging even before i finish writing my diary loh. Seriously, the two is not quite the same.. got different things to write about. or maybe same thing from different angles..haha..
Ok well, its a brand new year. The ending of year 2009 was very different from previous year i must say. Very much out of my expectations. Counted down to 2010 without the three things i had last year.. abit sad. But well, ended it off in a time of fellowship.. so can't compare the two ba. Well, never quite make resolutions at year ends anymore. i know i can't remember it for the entire year.. so why set restrictions for yourself! was just asking for a peaceful and happy 2009, and overall, it did past just as amazingly as any year could be too!
Recently, i just got this feel for year 2010.. it'll be a year of endless possibilities! Yippee! I have no idea why.. from what i can expect is that the year is gonna be full of question marks, much more then i can handle by myself i tink.. but somehow, i just felt quite positive towards it all. so in 2010, lowering expectations so that we can find/see/experience more wonders and joy in life through little things.. this is an important lesson learnt from 2009 i tink. Gonna learn to trust more in this new year as well.. to trust in God, to trust in myself, to trust in people around somehow. This is a step of faith.. not sure how much i can stick to it, but i will try.
There are undone tasks from 2009, issues yet to follow up with, and also questions yet to be answered. These are the challenges upfront in this brand new year. Oh man, gonna be tough ones.. but i so very much hope that i can solve them soon.. or if not, let go of these burdens. Some things that got to be settled just got to be dealt with.
haha anyway.. have been going to bed super 'early' this two days. Decided to stay up to wait for the last sunrise of year 2009 that day hahaa. This period is worse den the times in taiwan when i slept at the time of sunrise.. basically coz sunrise in taiwan is at 5am and sunrise here in Singapore is at 7am hah! Oh well, caught a very nice and meaningful movie on the first day of 2010! Avatar in 3D! First time watching 3D movie.. great eperience, great fun~
Today is a good start for the year i guess. Many things i've gone through this few days again and again reaffirm my tinkings for 2010~ its gonna be a year where wonders and possibilities are out there waiting! Here i come 2010~!!
Ok well, its a brand new year. The ending of year 2009 was very different from previous year i must say. Very much out of my expectations. Counted down to 2010 without the three things i had last year.. abit sad. But well, ended it off in a time of fellowship.. so can't compare the two ba. Well, never quite make resolutions at year ends anymore. i know i can't remember it for the entire year.. so why set restrictions for yourself! was just asking for a peaceful and happy 2009, and overall, it did past just as amazingly as any year could be too!
Recently, i just got this feel for year 2010.. it'll be a year of endless possibilities! Yippee! I have no idea why.. from what i can expect is that the year is gonna be full of question marks, much more then i can handle by myself i tink.. but somehow, i just felt quite positive towards it all. so in 2010, lowering expectations so that we can find/see/experience more wonders and joy in life through little things.. this is an important lesson learnt from 2009 i tink. Gonna learn to trust more in this new year as well.. to trust in God, to trust in myself, to trust in people around somehow. This is a step of faith.. not sure how much i can stick to it, but i will try.
There are undone tasks from 2009, issues yet to follow up with, and also questions yet to be answered. These are the challenges upfront in this brand new year. Oh man, gonna be tough ones.. but i so very much hope that i can solve them soon.. or if not, let go of these burdens. Some things that got to be settled just got to be dealt with.
haha anyway.. have been going to bed super 'early' this two days. Decided to stay up to wait for the last sunrise of year 2009 that day hahaa. This period is worse den the times in taiwan when i slept at the time of sunrise.. basically coz sunrise in taiwan is at 5am and sunrise here in Singapore is at 7am hah! Oh well, caught a very nice and meaningful movie on the first day of 2010! Avatar in 3D! First time watching 3D movie.. great eperience, great fun~
Today is a good start for the year i guess. Many things i've gone through this few days again and again reaffirm my tinkings for 2010~ its gonna be a year where wonders and possibilities are out there waiting! Here i come 2010~!!