Tuesday, February 19, 2008
i'm at work this very minute. so apparantly i'm slacking.. not very openly though haha. i appear to be super busy coz i'm typing ma haha! well, received confirmation le.. yesterday the moment i got the letter i felt weird. its a feeling i can't describe. my colleagues say confirm le must treat everyone for lunch.. but seriously, i'm still wondering if i should be happy bout this thing. there seems to be no reason i should be happy for~! gosh..
well, have been tinking alot yesterday night la. sometimes its so easy to say 知足常乐.. but when it really comes to showing it in action, its harder den anything you can tink of. i tried to convince myself that i have more den enough.. but that doesn't seems to make me happy in any way. seems like when you get older by the years, the constant panic attacks comes more regularly. at least it works this way for me. not sure if this is a kind of phobia of growing old. maybe as you grow older and you expect yourself to accomplish more things.. but somehow you realise age is growing but not potential, that's when you'll get real scared. hate the feeling of being 心有余而力不足，but wanting to do something yet knowing well that you'l never be able to accomplish something is much worse than that. haiz~
oh well, time seems to pass so slowly today. can't wait for 5.15pm to go home loh. just wanna hide in my small little world...
well, have been tinking alot yesterday night la. sometimes its so easy to say 知足常乐.. but when it really comes to showing it in action, its harder den anything you can tink of. i tried to convince myself that i have more den enough.. but that doesn't seems to make me happy in any way. seems like when you get older by the years, the constant panic attacks comes more regularly. at least it works this way for me. not sure if this is a kind of phobia of growing old. maybe as you grow older and you expect yourself to accomplish more things.. but somehow you realise age is growing but not potential, that's when you'll get real scared. hate the feeling of being 心有余而力不足，but wanting to do something yet knowing well that you'l never be able to accomplish something is much worse than that. haiz~
oh well, time seems to pass so slowly today. can't wait for 5.15pm to go home loh. just wanna hide in my small little world...
Friday, February 15, 2008
time passes quite fast when you're working i guess. before i realise its almost 3 months at the office. my confirmation is just days away. my colleagues congratulated me regarding this, but somehow i wonder if this marks a beginning or an end. sumthg just doesn't feel quite right sumwhere..
oh well, new year this year wasn't quite the same aso. reunion dinner itself was a flop i could say. there were extra ppl at the dinner, and somehow that made the whole atmosphere all wrong. well, my grandfather is aso getting older and weaker by the days.. comparing this year and the last, his health had deteriorated so much. sometimes looking at my grandfather, i wonder why the older generation ppl always wanted more kids to tide them thru their older days. wats the point when you have kids but not many bother at all. sad case. aniway, this year didn't get to meet alot of my relatives. partly coz this year alot of my parents frens came our house, so we were home a large part of the time. den alot of my aunties and uncles didn't come our place aso.. so forget it lo. anyway their angbao got or dun have dun make a difference haha! maybe my mum can save more money instead heee..
oh well, recently have been so amazed by alot of touching and meaningful song lyrics. so much so i am trying to write out one with abit higher standard myself haha~ well, still in the process of trying.. trying real hard! haa. yup ok, shall go keep myself busy le..
oh well, new year this year wasn't quite the same aso. reunion dinner itself was a flop i could say. there were extra ppl at the dinner, and somehow that made the whole atmosphere all wrong. well, my grandfather is aso getting older and weaker by the days.. comparing this year and the last, his health had deteriorated so much. sometimes looking at my grandfather, i wonder why the older generation ppl always wanted more kids to tide them thru their older days. wats the point when you have kids but not many bother at all. sad case. aniway, this year didn't get to meet alot of my relatives. partly coz this year alot of my parents frens came our house, so we were home a large part of the time. den alot of my aunties and uncles didn't come our place aso.. so forget it lo. anyway their angbao got or dun have dun make a difference haha! maybe my mum can save more money instead heee..
oh well, recently have been so amazed by alot of touching and meaningful song lyrics. so much so i am trying to write out one with abit higher standard myself haha~ well, still in the process of trying.. trying real hard! haa. yup ok, shall go keep myself busy le..