Saturday, November 25, 2006
wow there's sooo many stars in the sky tonight~~
for a moment i tot how come tonight so many aeroplanes in the sky, den i realise those bright spots aren't moving.. yeah they're all stars!! haven't seen such a beautiful sky for a long long time. today is a beautiful day indeed. work is getting much better. maybe becoz they have to start letting me do more stuff since they're taking turns to go on leave.. so today i have been handling the animals,administrating injection, run blood test etc. den dr phua showed me live furmites..den the few of us were discussing bout the little furmites. was studying a case with my colleague also.. bout the drug used and the symptoms of the patient. quite enjoy the working condition today. haha best part is still going home though.. one hour before closing time we're already preparing to go home le.. haha!
oh well, having been quite into yahoo groups these days. made many many friends there.. and i must say, though i've never met anyone of them before, i'll actually miss toking to them everyday during work. now i go to the group more to meet the people there more den becoz of the artiste..haha. enjoy the crapping times together. though may still feel outcasted sometimes, but its alright.. slowly ba~ ok i shall continue chatting liao.. haha
for a moment i tot how come tonight so many aeroplanes in the sky, den i realise those bright spots aren't moving.. yeah they're all stars!! haven't seen such a beautiful sky for a long long time. today is a beautiful day indeed. work is getting much better. maybe becoz they have to start letting me do more stuff since they're taking turns to go on leave.. so today i have been handling the animals,administrating injection, run blood test etc. den dr phua showed me live furmites..den the few of us were discussing bout the little furmites. was studying a case with my colleague also.. bout the drug used and the symptoms of the patient. quite enjoy the working condition today. haha best part is still going home though.. one hour before closing time we're already preparing to go home le.. haha!
oh well, having been quite into yahoo groups these days. made many many friends there.. and i must say, though i've never met anyone of them before, i'll actually miss toking to them everyday during work. now i go to the group more to meet the people there more den becoz of the artiste..haha. enjoy the crapping times together. though may still feel outcasted sometimes, but its alright.. slowly ba~ ok i shall continue chatting liao.. haha
Thursday, November 23, 2006
it feels so good to chat with a fren that you so seldom get to meet, yet we can still be as close as ever. the bond and frenship is stregthened by the time barrier, and even distance cannot drift us apart. i treasure my friends out there~! though i really duno how to express myself, but in my heart i'm glad to know you all.
hmm, working conditions have been improving i should say. at least i can stop worrying bout interpersonal skills le. duno since when i've stopped bothering bout how they look at me. just finish up my stuff and do wat i am suppose to do can le. now at least they will make attempts to include me in their conversation, though half the time i feel so out of place still.
today is a bad day i guess. a client called to say her dog passed away, cancer. the dog is coming in for treatment tomolo one la.. and all becoz of delayed treatment, there goes.. den this little kitten even worse. it was still active a moment ago, den i walk one round come back its found dead. such cruelty of life~ too many such cases seen..sad ah...
hmm, working conditions have been improving i should say. at least i can stop worrying bout interpersonal skills le. duno since when i've stopped bothering bout how they look at me. just finish up my stuff and do wat i am suppose to do can le. now at least they will make attempts to include me in their conversation, though half the time i feel so out of place still.
today is a bad day i guess. a client called to say her dog passed away, cancer. the dog is coming in for treatment tomolo one la.. and all becoz of delayed treatment, there goes.. den this little kitten even worse. it was still active a moment ago, den i walk one round come back its found dead. such cruelty of life~ too many such cases seen..sad ah...
Saturday, November 18, 2006
tomolo have to lead worship for children ministry again. i feel odd having to lead worship all the while.. not becoz of any special reason or wat, but its just dat i feel i am not up to it yet. wat makes me able to lead the kids when i am not even a person with very strong and stable faith. somehow this feeling is especially strong recently.
i'm reaching a major crossroad in life once again. this time i totally feel so lost and helpless. there's just so many question marks and uncertainty for me to face. the choice that i once tot i am very sure of seems to be leading me no where. the future that i once longed for seems really bleak. the decision i have made seems all wrong and unreachable. i know this is a very great obstacle that i have to overcome, not with my own strength but with the strength of the Lord. but i can say i'm of little faith now, its too much for me to bear. it requires so much faith and confidence to say that 'Yes i believe the Lord will guide'.. i dun have so much confidence still...
have been looking at a few universities recently, be it local or in australia. the courses are either not suitable or i'm not interested in or far too expensive for me to afford or i can't even meet the entry requirements. i did wonder, wat will be the difference if i get myself a degree..the future won't be promising either. plus my mum also not very encouraging.. she supported my idea that getting a degree overseas is not of much help.. -.-" maybe i shouldn't rush into a decision, maybe i should just work first after i grauate? totally no direction now..
i'm reaching a major crossroad in life once again. this time i totally feel so lost and helpless. there's just so many question marks and uncertainty for me to face. the choice that i once tot i am very sure of seems to be leading me no where. the future that i once longed for seems really bleak. the decision i have made seems all wrong and unreachable. i know this is a very great obstacle that i have to overcome, not with my own strength but with the strength of the Lord. but i can say i'm of little faith now, its too much for me to bear. it requires so much faith and confidence to say that 'Yes i believe the Lord will guide'.. i dun have so much confidence still...
have been looking at a few universities recently, be it local or in australia. the courses are either not suitable or i'm not interested in or far too expensive for me to afford or i can't even meet the entry requirements. i did wonder, wat will be the difference if i get myself a degree..the future won't be promising either. plus my mum also not very encouraging.. she supported my idea that getting a degree overseas is not of much help.. -.-" maybe i shouldn't rush into a decision, maybe i should just work first after i grauate? totally no direction now..
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
feeling depressed easily recently. maybe there's just too many things going on that keeps affecting me la. trying to keep my mood more stable, really hate all this mood swings ah. but after all these stuff, i know i am more fortunate den many people. guess its just the expectations, perspective and requirement difference between individuals ba..
went SGH with my mum today after half day work. she went for a minor operation la. suppose to be shorter den an hour, but i waited for 1hr30mins. took some time to walk around the hospital.. looking at all the different departments, and spotting handsome doctors.. oops did i just say handsome doctors..? haha.. Aniway, recently many things happened in the family la.. both my dad and mum's side. though they dun directly affect me, but in one way or another you'll just feel uncomfortable. at times i really feel that these things are just too much for a simple family..
hmm i made a few new frens online over this few months la. enjoy the times we chat, can be really crazy and also very comfortable la. maybe they are older den me, and they can give suggestions and stuff. though opinions might not be the same, but its a great feeling. someone told me that its fate that brings two frens together. to an extend i agree. you might see the person all the while but just couldn't strike a conversation. somehow its just the little spark that sets the whole thing. I thank god for them.. =)
went SGH with my mum today after half day work. she went for a minor operation la. suppose to be shorter den an hour, but i waited for 1hr30mins. took some time to walk around the hospital.. looking at all the different departments, and spotting handsome doctors.. oops did i just say handsome doctors..? haha.. Aniway, recently many things happened in the family la.. both my dad and mum's side. though they dun directly affect me, but in one way or another you'll just feel uncomfortable. at times i really feel that these things are just too much for a simple family..
hmm i made a few new frens online over this few months la. enjoy the times we chat, can be really crazy and also very comfortable la. maybe they are older den me, and they can give suggestions and stuff. though opinions might not be the same, but its a great feeling. someone told me that its fate that brings two frens together. to an extend i agree. you might see the person all the while but just couldn't strike a conversation. somehow its just the little spark that sets the whole thing. I thank god for them.. =)
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
haven't been updating for a long long time. i see a layer of dust and cob webs all over le. well, dun get to spend much time online everyday after work also la. after a whole day of work i feel like dying liao. dis two days i'm super irritated by my project proposal issue la. somehow i dun see the direction all the while for my project loh. i seems to be pushed ahead by all the deadlines.. if not there's no progression at all. so confused over the whole idea of the project la.
today in itself i have 4 different people telling me bout different things that i should have more confidence in myself. is it just a mere coincidence? i know myself.. a lack of confidence should be a huge barrier in my life. this barrier have always been there, and it takes alot of determination and strength to be able to overcome it. sometimes i just hate my character. can't seems to overcome problems. maybe i tink too much.. procrastinate.. lack of confidence.. pessimistic..
oh yah.. working in the clinic allows me face life and death issues very often. well, the patients may not be humans, but their its the same situation. this morning reach the clinic, den learnt that a dog that was hospitalised yesterday died. the dog wasn't seriously ill or anythg, no signs of struggling also. seriously i do feel sad for the owner too.. but somehow i seems to have experienced too many such cases that i can't fully express my feeling le. life and death is just across the line. situations like that really prepares me for situations that may anytime happen. life is fragile, anything may happen anytime..
today in itself i have 4 different people telling me bout different things that i should have more confidence in myself. is it just a mere coincidence? i know myself.. a lack of confidence should be a huge barrier in my life. this barrier have always been there, and it takes alot of determination and strength to be able to overcome it. sometimes i just hate my character. can't seems to overcome problems. maybe i tink too much.. procrastinate.. lack of confidence.. pessimistic..
oh yah.. working in the clinic allows me face life and death issues very often. well, the patients may not be humans, but their its the same situation. this morning reach the clinic, den learnt that a dog that was hospitalised yesterday died. the dog wasn't seriously ill or anythg, no signs of struggling also. seriously i do feel sad for the owner too.. but somehow i seems to have experienced too many such cases that i can't fully express my feeling le. life and death is just across the line. situations like that really prepares me for situations that may anytime happen. life is fragile, anything may happen anytime..