Wednesday, October 25, 2006
arh damn.. in a super foul mood now. all this sip things is driving me to the corner. i tot sip just means overwork and underpaid, but somehow now it seems like its gonna become overwork and not paid. that is bad. i guess i shall tok to them if they still dun mention anything by the end of this month. sip really mess up my life.. i dun like the feeling of this.
no freedom of speech, no leave, not respected, not treated like human, overwork.. there's much more to the list. i really dun mind this kind of work.. in fact i enjoy it. but can i be treated fairly? unfair treatment is as good as taking away my human rights! today i leave house just as early, den i reach home freakingly late. just this point alone almost made me mad. why must i work so hard and end up not being appreciated? the things i do they take it for granted, the things i fail to do they start to complain. if all this is wat it takes to pass sip and graduate.. i'd rather just give up everything.
no freedom of speech, no leave, not respected, not treated like human, overwork.. there's much more to the list. i really dun mind this kind of work.. in fact i enjoy it. but can i be treated fairly? unfair treatment is as good as taking away my human rights! today i leave house just as early, den i reach home freakingly late. just this point alone almost made me mad. why must i work so hard and end up not being appreciated? the things i do they take it for granted, the things i fail to do they start to complain. if all this is wat it takes to pass sip and graduate.. i'd rather just give up everything.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
was abit shocked by something that flash through my mind earlier on.
i was looking at some of the pics i took of myself, den i was looking into the mirror.
for a moment i feel that the person in the pic and in the mirror seems so distant and so unfamiliar. it took me awhile to realise that is actually me. izzit i haven't been looking at myself carefully or something..? but somehow i feel as if i'm staring right into a stranger...
maybe there have been so many things that i have been keeping deep within myself that somehow, sometime, i've already lost contact with my inner self. those things which i hate to face, those facts that are better left unnoticed, those situations which i feel should be forgotten.. i leave it all somewhere deep deep inside. so deep perhaps i myself are not allowed to enter.
my feelings were complex at that split moment just now. couldn't explain wat the exact feeling is like..
i was looking at some of the pics i took of myself, den i was looking into the mirror.
for a moment i feel that the person in the pic and in the mirror seems so distant and so unfamiliar. it took me awhile to realise that is actually me. izzit i haven't been looking at myself carefully or something..? but somehow i feel as if i'm staring right into a stranger...
maybe there have been so many things that i have been keeping deep within myself that somehow, sometime, i've already lost contact with my inner self. those things which i hate to face, those facts that are better left unnoticed, those situations which i feel should be forgotten.. i leave it all somewhere deep deep inside. so deep perhaps i myself are not allowed to enter.
my feelings were complex at that split moment just now. couldn't explain wat the exact feeling is like..
Saturday, October 21, 2006
wow had a wonderful slacking day. but the haze these days are makng me feel sick. throat feels so dry and uncomfortable. woke up in a daze today and i tot my vision got problem, coz its super blur outside this afternoon. somehow the PSI always stays in the moderate range, or maybe they just take the average? like not very accurate wor..
was pondering on the topic relationship today. somehow i find it so complicated. people dun really show their true self somehow. toking to you doesn't mean they accept you, accepting you doesn't mean they like you, not toking to you doesn't mean they dislike you.. oh man, wat i see is like different levels of hypocricy. it may not be of evil or bad intentions, but somehow people just do it. hmm..life is already hard le, why must humans make it harder for themselves.
oh yah, toking bout life. there's dis guy that committed suicide some days ago by jumping onto the mrt track. i am quite shock by the fact that there's actually still such poor singaporeans around. maybe i should redefine my income status as rich? wat crap..there's much more richer ones out there.. but wats with these poor families? the government doesn't do anything till someone actually dies? and the guy is actually a christian.. why would he make such a decision to end his life? this type of news always make me feel quite disgusted by the society. life seems so cheap and so fragile.
was pondering on the topic relationship today. somehow i find it so complicated. people dun really show their true self somehow. toking to you doesn't mean they accept you, accepting you doesn't mean they like you, not toking to you doesn't mean they dislike you.. oh man, wat i see is like different levels of hypocricy. it may not be of evil or bad intentions, but somehow people just do it. hmm..life is already hard le, why must humans make it harder for themselves.
oh yah, toking bout life. there's dis guy that committed suicide some days ago by jumping onto the mrt track. i am quite shock by the fact that there's actually still such poor singaporeans around. maybe i should redefine my income status as rich? wat crap..there's much more richer ones out there.. but wats with these poor families? the government doesn't do anything till someone actually dies? and the guy is actually a christian.. why would he make such a decision to end his life? this type of news always make me feel quite disgusted by the society. life seems so cheap and so fragile.
Friday, October 20, 2006
"因你是万王之王 万主之主
有你跟着我 我还怕什么.."
有你跟着我 我还怕什么.."
these words taken from the song '主我跟你走' had been encouranging me on through my darkest time of my sip.. and it is still encouraging me on now. everytime i tink of the words and be reminded that its not me alone facing the situation, somehow i'll have the strength to carry on. the Lord had been faithful and truly great.. though times had been and is still bad, but he show his ways in every little thing. praise the Lord!
well, now marks the start of my long weekend. enjoying every moment from now till next monday. i can predict that i'm gonna slack, sleep, stone my precious time away.. but who cares. take the time off to rest and relax! major project will not be a priority now. Oh aniway, i see myself doing some really silly things at work today. nearly made a mess of their business.. but somehow things didn't turn out that bad. and as usual, the vets never tok to me bout it, nor express any views regarding any matters.
seriously, little things in life teaches a lesson. unreasonable customer teaches tolerance. rude customers teaches us to forgive. proud people teaches us to stay humble. unhappy situation teaches us to trust God more. the list just goes on and on.. i should be glad i'm always learning more bout life...
Thursday, October 19, 2006
how great~ i got bitten by a dog today! now my little finger is swollen and numb from pain. the wound isn't very big, but its rather deep. the side is bruised and blue-blacks are appearing. hmm, i was holding tissue paper trying to wipe the floor and the dog tot i was playing or wat, den she bite without aiming..den there goes my finger. maybe its under the drug effect after sedation la, it doesn't seems to wanna let go loh. happily biting on my finger, and i had to pull my finger out from its mouth. it was till not long ago den my finger can start to bend once again. aniway, i still love dogs.. hahaa
I was tinking bout the topic on star signs recently. i come to realise that they somehow are rather accurate. i dun mean i believe in astrology, but its that the way they describe the characteristic of people of different start signs.. somehow there's certain accuracy in them loh. come to realise that people having the sign taurus(one of them which is me) is quite sad. known to be ppl who are stubborn, stuck in the mud, boring etc.. maybe in a way i'll say its true, but i guess it'll take one taurus to fully understand how another taurus feels. okay i'm getting tired.. waiting for my long weekend to come.. surviving at the moment..
I was tinking bout the topic on star signs recently. i come to realise that they somehow are rather accurate. i dun mean i believe in astrology, but its that the way they describe the characteristic of people of different start signs.. somehow there's certain accuracy in them loh. come to realise that people having the sign taurus(one of them which is me) is quite sad. known to be ppl who are stubborn, stuck in the mud, boring etc.. maybe in a way i'll say its true, but i guess it'll take one taurus to fully understand how another taurus feels. okay i'm getting tired.. waiting for my long weekend to come.. surviving at the moment..
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
everytime i actually come here to blog, i'll forget wat i initially wanted tow rite about. guess this is wat they call getting older...
Oh ya.. i find it really nice when i actually hear frens calling by my chinese name. okay i know bbrs always does that, but wat i meant was frens from jc or outside skool. for a moment i felt kinda weird when i try to respond to my chinese name haha. its like i have been using my english name since i entered into jc, and of coz poly also not many ppl know my chinese name. the other day when my fren call me by my chinese name, i didn't know how exactly to respond also. the feel is good, but still abit weird.. haha.
hmm, work haven't been getting better. it can't get any worse also, coz i feel i've already experienced the worst liao. i just hope this situation can improve a tiny little bit. at least life won't be so terrible after all the effort i put in. but i really have to say, working there allows me to see so many different breeds of cats and dogs..its rather fulfiling also la. this morning just had a case of ear mites in a puppy. the case is so bad that in a microscopic field of vision, there's like more den 8 ear mites crawling around. first time i actually see live ear mites, goodness they sure are cute.. haha!
had been infected recently with the travel bug again. i so wanna go overseas!! destination can be anywhere i guess. but i want most to go back to taiwan again. i'm here in singapore but my heart and soul is already out roaming into taiwan and other countries liao. have been trying hard to make taiwan or overseas fren online, but seems like it isn't easy.. haha. they dun seems to accept overseas ppl readily la. i'll take one step at a time, hope they actually start to bother bout me loh..
Oh ya.. i find it really nice when i actually hear frens calling by my chinese name. okay i know bbrs always does that, but wat i meant was frens from jc or outside skool. for a moment i felt kinda weird when i try to respond to my chinese name haha. its like i have been using my english name since i entered into jc, and of coz poly also not many ppl know my chinese name. the other day when my fren call me by my chinese name, i didn't know how exactly to respond also. the feel is good, but still abit weird.. haha.
hmm, work haven't been getting better. it can't get any worse also, coz i feel i've already experienced the worst liao. i just hope this situation can improve a tiny little bit. at least life won't be so terrible after all the effort i put in. but i really have to say, working there allows me to see so many different breeds of cats and dogs..its rather fulfiling also la. this morning just had a case of ear mites in a puppy. the case is so bad that in a microscopic field of vision, there's like more den 8 ear mites crawling around. first time i actually see live ear mites, goodness they sure are cute.. haha!
had been infected recently with the travel bug again. i so wanna go overseas!! destination can be anywhere i guess. but i want most to go back to taiwan again. i'm here in singapore but my heart and soul is already out roaming into taiwan and other countries liao. have been trying hard to make taiwan or overseas fren online, but seems like it isn't easy.. haha. they dun seems to accept overseas ppl readily la. i'll take one step at a time, hope they actually start to bother bout me loh..
Friday, October 13, 2006
haven't been updating for a long time. i just wanna say.. SIP sux! i guess i will master the art of hypocrisy sooner den i expected. the best part is, when you feel you've been wronged.. you can tok back! i shall continue to 'ren'...on accounts of my sip grade..wo ren~! skool side is not a good source of help seriously, coz the skool Will side the employer.. they will save their reputation rather den save the student from a terrible life la. afterall, they keep the reputation, and wat bout the student? graduate liao den go le ma.. stupid skool. starting to understand why so many ppl hated the management style of the skool le. i'll always look forward to going home from work, off days, half days and public holidays. nothing excites me more. suppose i love the job so much.. why must they make it feel like a chore for me?
aniway, i can also feel that my major project is in a mess liao. trying to find a topic that can let me do well one. but i find no help from the vets, or from my LO. therefore i can only face it and die. have to submit MP title today, and i am still unsure if i should do on this topic la. help~~!
hmm well, some happier stuff to mention. i realise i am mad. my mum tinks so too. haa. coz she also realise that i always find older guys cute. seems like i prefer guys more mature and more talented..haha. oh ya, and now i am also dying to go malaysia shopping. but looking at my stupid working time, i probably wun get to go till sip ends..
aniway, i can also feel that my major project is in a mess liao. trying to find a topic that can let me do well one. but i find no help from the vets, or from my LO. therefore i can only face it and die. have to submit MP title today, and i am still unsure if i should do on this topic la. help~~!
hmm well, some happier stuff to mention. i realise i am mad. my mum tinks so too. haa. coz she also realise that i always find older guys cute. seems like i prefer guys more mature and more talented..haha. oh ya, and now i am also dying to go malaysia shopping. but looking at my stupid working time, i probably wun get to go till sip ends..
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
have been down with gastric flu since last friday night. went to the doctor only this afternoon. i can feel my abdomen area in a mess inside. dun like the idea of eating medicine loh, this few weeks like pumping med down like that..so unhealthy living. Aniway, on my way home today, saw an incident that somehow made an impact. i was on a not very crowded bus. saw this boy chase after the bus at a bus stop. didn't knew he fell until after he boarded, and saw that his hands were bleeding. this secondary skool boy was crying coz of the fall or pain or watever reason loh. i wanted to pass him tissues for cleaning the wound, but somehow i was right at the back and he's at the front.. it just doesn't feel right to go over like that. den the next moment, a jc student went around askin for tissue for the boy. gave her the tissues, and she went over to help the boy clean his wound. i'm quite amazed by this little action really. its hard to find people like that who is willing to go out to help others le. i'm so glad such ppl exist still, at least there's little light in this dark world. i salute the jc girl! i wun have that kinda courage to do it i guess.
seriously, many things happened that i've always felt i have to blog down, but i find dat i dun seems to have enough resting time le. ppl say sick must rest, yah how many hrs i get to rest. and somemore my job requires a fair bit of labour jobs. all the 'sai gang' i pau ka liao loh.. to spice things up there's still super unreasonable clients. hoping to slim down at least 5 kg after 5 months attachment..
seriously, many things happened that i've always felt i have to blog down, but i find dat i dun seems to have enough resting time le. ppl say sick must rest, yah how many hrs i get to rest. and somemore my job requires a fair bit of labour jobs. all the 'sai gang' i pau ka liao loh.. to spice things up there's still super unreasonable clients. hoping to slim down at least 5 kg after 5 months attachment..