Thursday, January 26, 2006
haiz.. wonder wat happen to my eye.. there's dis abnormal growth on the inner part of my eye lid, super irritating and painful la. oh well.. dis week was quite a stressful week, just had a test dis morning loh. aniway, just wanted to blog bout the experiment we did in skool on tuesday. it was a total disgusting experience.
okay the experiment was to cut up a chick embryo, isolate all of the organs and minced up the rest of the chick. wah super disgusting.. we had to crack open the egg to obtain the half formed chick embryo~!! its like so small and fragile.. when you crack the egg u can actually see it 'swimming' inside loh~! its like killing a life la! and well.. i had to kill two! coz the first one i took out was like too small..den cannot cut it up, so the teacher say get another one..(-.-" wah my goodness, the embryo is like super bloody.. and it has real big eyes staring right at you. can actually see the heart beating one loh. better still, we cut off the head and the limbs and liver and lungs, and the heart is still beating. couldn't bear to actually cut up a beating heart loh!! seriously, by the end of the day, the whole lab smells of rotten egg. wat an experiment to do sia...
okay the experiment was to cut up a chick embryo, isolate all of the organs and minced up the rest of the chick. wah super disgusting.. we had to crack open the egg to obtain the half formed chick embryo~!! its like so small and fragile.. when you crack the egg u can actually see it 'swimming' inside loh~! its like killing a life la! and well.. i had to kill two! coz the first one i took out was like too small..den cannot cut it up, so the teacher say get another one..(-.-" wah my goodness, the embryo is like super bloody.. and it has real big eyes staring right at you. can actually see the heart beating one loh. better still, we cut off the head and the limbs and liver and lungs, and the heart is still beating. couldn't bear to actually cut up a beating heart loh!! seriously, by the end of the day, the whole lab smells of rotten egg. wat an experiment to do sia...
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Its been a really hectic week.. i guess the next few days is gonna be just as bad. Open house is starting tomolo, and for the past few days.. there's like so so many things to prepare~! being busy is already bad.. to make things worse, lots of things happen. And seriously i mean alot~~
There just some stuff that i do not wish to handle at such a busy point of time, but well.. they just happen wheather you like it or not. have been trying for some time to avoid facing this matter, and of all times it had to come now. I'm really tired.. Being the eldest among the group, have no choice but to try to settle all the disputes and stuff. Seriously, i'm only just another human.. how much can i do? i do feel confused on my part~ Thankfully, yesterday we manage to find a teacher to tok to. he's definitely not my care person (just for info..my care person is too busy to bother bout stuff like dat). We needed someone whom we can relate to, yet he's someone who is not involved in the whole situation. Although the teacher may not be able to give us a solution to the problem, it still feels great just to release all the bottled up stuff. Tink i've never done such things before.. not that i recalled of. most of the time i'd rather keep everything to myself den to tell another person, for other times, i can't find someone to tok to. But for dis case.. its really too much for me to take. Have to loosen things abit before it really hits the limit.
Well, though the matter is temporarily settled.. everything seemed to have gone back to normal, but i know that we've not yet gotten to the root of the problem. Coz everyday new things happen, pressure builds up.. who knows when another person will just 'explode' again~~ i need rest~ in the arm of god~ proper rest for my tired soul..
There just some stuff that i do not wish to handle at such a busy point of time, but well.. they just happen wheather you like it or not. have been trying for some time to avoid facing this matter, and of all times it had to come now. I'm really tired.. Being the eldest among the group, have no choice but to try to settle all the disputes and stuff. Seriously, i'm only just another human.. how much can i do? i do feel confused on my part~ Thankfully, yesterday we manage to find a teacher to tok to. he's definitely not my care person (just for info..my care person is too busy to bother bout stuff like dat). We needed someone whom we can relate to, yet he's someone who is not involved in the whole situation. Although the teacher may not be able to give us a solution to the problem, it still feels great just to release all the bottled up stuff. Tink i've never done such things before.. not that i recalled of. most of the time i'd rather keep everything to myself den to tell another person, for other times, i can't find someone to tok to. But for dis case.. its really too much for me to take. Have to loosen things abit before it really hits the limit.
Well, though the matter is temporarily settled.. everything seemed to have gone back to normal, but i know that we've not yet gotten to the root of the problem. Coz everyday new things happen, pressure builds up.. who knows when another person will just 'explode' again~~ i need rest~ in the arm of god~ proper rest for my tired soul..
Friday, January 13, 2006
My mood was totally on a roller coaster ride today~ and a really 'exciting' ride somemore! haiyah, so many things happened today that i felt as if i can't cope with the sudden surge of emotions. was having headaches all day long la..
Hmm, just wanna thank god for all dear barbarians~! no matter how lousy my mood is..i guess just by looking at all the stupid faces of you ppl makes my day again~hahaha. well..not sure if it works all the time, but somehow it'll help more or less ba~ aniway.. love you ppl~!
Hmm, just wanna thank god for all dear barbarians~! no matter how lousy my mood is..i guess just by looking at all the stupid faces of you ppl makes my day again~hahaha. well..not sure if it works all the time, but somehow it'll help more or less ba~ aniway.. love you ppl~!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
hmm.. guess humans like to worry themselves too much. its quite senseless sumtimes to worry that you dun have sumthing, but after you have it, you'll worry wat to do with it etc.. dis is a vicious cycle, it'll never end if we continue to 'indulge' in such stuff.
God really shows himself in little things in life. i'm really thankful that i actually see him in my life planning and guiding. i may not be from a welloff family, but my parents work hard to see me through my education. And i actually do not have to worry bout money stuff.. this is really a blessing~ although the way may not be smooth sumtimes, but eventually he will be there to solve all our problems.. i'm glad i had a such an amazing god~!
God really shows himself in little things in life. i'm really thankful that i actually see him in my life planning and guiding. i may not be from a welloff family, but my parents work hard to see me through my education. And i actually do not have to worry bout money stuff.. this is really a blessing~ although the way may not be smooth sumtimes, but eventually he will be there to solve all our problems.. i'm glad i had a such an amazing god~!
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Things never seems the same animore. Time does helps one to forget some stuff.. but it seemed that even though you've forgiven, it doesn't means acceptance. i'm saying these without any anger,or hatred, or watever.. its only, i've realised that even after time have healed the wound, the scar remains. you'll no longer feel the pain cause by the wound, or perhaps even forget wat caused it.. but it is no longer the same, the scar stays..
i tot i'll be able to handle stuff quite well, but somehow, some things are just out of my control. i didn't wan to behave dis way.. but somehow, i just did. Human-human relationship is really such complex stuff~~
i tot i'll be able to handle stuff quite well, but somehow, some things are just out of my control. i didn't wan to behave dis way.. but somehow, i just did. Human-human relationship is really such complex stuff~~
Thursday, January 05, 2006
life sometimes just makes me feel really lost. just feeling really confused by all the things that come into my life.. i can't really make sense out of it all. its when you tot u really know a person well enough, or fully understood wats going on..dat the reality struck you the hardest. yeah.. i've been dealt with a really heavy blow. it saddens me alot.. serious. its the feeling when you are so comfortable and happy with your life, and suddenly you're awaken to the fact that you actually don't even fit into the picture.. you stick out like a sore thumb~ yes, thats wat i'm feeling rite now.
Argh..i'm not feeling well. i should go and sleep. tomolo will be a better day i hope.
Argh..i'm not feeling well. i should go and sleep. tomolo will be a better day i hope.
ooh.. skool started. was totally stunted by the fact that we received 3 of the 5 term test papers we took. well, didn't exactly do well at all. yeah.. feels quite down actually. Aniway, went for xinyi's birthday party after skool today la. its great~ i mean it feels totally like a great reunion for me. get to meet secondary skool clasamates.. and my jc classates.. and.. oh well, its just great~
The place wasn't really big.. lots of her frens were present. we had a constant supply of bbq food even without us actually doing the cooking..haha. had a good time chatting, or even just hanging around with those fren that u haven't even toked to for years.. The feeling is different when u grow older, and you come back together as a group and start toking about the good old days..haha. there's like endless topics to cover.. endless stuff to laugh at. even stuff totally out of the world can be brought up and laugh at or discussed.. haha.. love that kind of bonding between people.. i'll treasure all these times~~
oh well, i've got to know dis taiwan guy. he is selling stuff online one la.. den got to chat on msn for some time, and he is willing to sell to me at a cheaper price, and aso take the trouble to send it over to me. well.. really glad to have a taiwan fren~! haha.. but he's going army soon.. for a year.. out of taiwan.. haa.. ironical.
The place wasn't really big.. lots of her frens were present. we had a constant supply of bbq food even without us actually doing the cooking..haha. had a good time chatting, or even just hanging around with those fren that u haven't even toked to for years.. The feeling is different when u grow older, and you come back together as a group and start toking about the good old days..haha. there's like endless topics to cover.. endless stuff to laugh at. even stuff totally out of the world can be brought up and laugh at or discussed.. haha.. love that kind of bonding between people.. i'll treasure all these times~~
oh well, i've got to know dis taiwan guy. he is selling stuff online one la.. den got to chat on msn for some time, and he is willing to sell to me at a cheaper price, and aso take the trouble to send it over to me. well.. really glad to have a taiwan fren~! haha.. but he's going army soon.. for a year.. out of taiwan.. haa.. ironical.