gOnGdAi pTe LtD

Sometimes i wonder how long one can run and hide and be ridiculously unrealistic.

2nd day back from my two weeks Taiwan trip..feeling all sick and tired and aches all over. What's exactly pulling me down is actually the reality of being back, of facing life all over..the rest are just mere temporal discomforts. No one hides from life i guess..whatever is left unfinished just got to be handled.. just a matter of sooner or later.

Feeling crap now. Tinking I'll start planning of a long trip away alone. As of now, i feel being alone is the only way to minimize hurts.. anyone/everyone will just make inconsiderate comments.

On the way home after sending off da jiu..
hmm really dun like the kind of atmosphere at wakes and crematorium service alike.

We know we get to meet in heaven yes, but all that surge of emotions is just so inevitable. I felt grief..such sorrow is still so new n raw within me.

Reminded of Snowy. Was just remembering how we walked the last journey of her life. The sorrow is much similar.. if not more.

If and death.. and a whole bunch of emotions.
Oh emotions, emotions.....

一大清早电话响，感觉就不会有什么好事。
只是，还真的很突然。
大舅过世了。

一家人努力的不让外婆知道，担心她不能接受这个消息。
虽然说这个家大家都是各顾各的，但是欣慰的是，至少需要到帮助与扶持的时候还会聚在一起。
至少在这种情况下，我看到了一个家。

刚刚看到外婆，她很伤心。
可是比我想象中的坚强； 虽然落泪，但是接受了。
应该某些事，怎么样都得接受吧。

Imagination is free.
Creativity is priceless..
And they bring ppl the wildest, greatest & most out of the world thoughts ever.

I love these priceless gifts of mine.
Keeps me busy, entertained and stuff half the time.. 
But now im slightly bothered by the other half.

Just afraid that too much brain power used on wild thoughts..makes me too hopeful or too positive on certain things. My mind is trying very hard to convince my heart not to listen blindly to my imagination. Oh wells..horrible tug-of-war within me.. been going on since days back.

How can one choose between happiness and reality?

看过那么那么多电影，戏剧什么的…
有时还真分不太清楚虚幻与现实的差别。

戏里的人生点出了许许多多现实生活的点滴；
而人生的过程也不时出现戏剧化的场景。

突然想站在所谓的“时空夹缝“里面看看自己的一生。
看到一堆高潮迭起，真真假假，虚虚实实。
或许只有这样的时刻才可以真正清醒的面对自己。

Its really a joy to see kids praise and sing with all their hearts.

Their innocence and smiles just bring joy to everyone. Well they can be little devils at times.. but thats just kids isn't it..being very true to who they are.

We do need to learn from these little ones every single day.. That's where true love flows :)

有没有一首歌能感动我？
有，很多。
有没有一首歌能写出我的心声？
也有很多。
又有没有一首歌记录了我的故事？
有。
有没有试过一首歌能让我害怕用心听？
不久前找到了。

是的，害怕。
只要用心听，所有的感觉就会像洪水掩盖我。
不是放不开，也不是过不去..只是某些伤疤想起了来，还是会记得原来的痛。

很矛盾的一首歌。
一首让我不知道要爱还是要恨的歌...
炎亚纶 - 纪念日。

I realised this place holds so much memories..

So many things that happened long time back..brought back details that I couldn't have remembered, memories that was long lost down the memory lane... So these are my past. So real..every single word, emotion, event, people, thing..

Made me understand one thing. Smooth or rough our journey continues; Happy or not things will pass.
Reading back every single post made me smile..watever the content was.

Probably having the chance to read my history in itself is a blessing.. and its truly worth a smile or two :)

Year 2012. The first word i said on my birthday.. "Sorry"

I really don't feel well now.
So empty, so uncomfortable, so lost.

Sort of ended everything last night.
No more.
Almost died.
Or rather, i guess something died.

Today felt different.
Was told to be independent from now on.
I will definitely try.
I hope.